REBORN INTO NATURE

Photo June Bjørnback

The cover for my album "Eamiritni - Rimeborn" have pictures of me naked in the forrest. Yes, it is true. I am naked.
When I talked to my photographer June Bjørnback about this the first time I was very specific about what I wanted. I wanted to be naked - but not in a objectifying manner, not being sexualised in any way. I didnt want any of my female parts to show, because I wanted the picture to be as neutral as possible. And still I didnt want it to look like I was covering up something, it should look like natural. I wanted it to look natural, beutiful, fairy-taleish, almost creature-like and mysterious... I did not want a male photographer to do this, simply because I was afraid he would not understand my mission of the pictures, and I would feel more comfortable with a female photographer.... June was totally in on it, she totally understood me - so we went for it!

I never doubted that these where the right pictures to have on my cover, because it is my inside reflected on the outside in a way. I felt that I had gone back to my roots. To my culture, but also that my life was shifting and I was becoming a different person when I was working on this album. I felt a new beginning in every area of my life, actually - like a rebirth.  Thats why I wanted the word "born" in my album title. Rimeborn - as in reborn in/with rime. And all of us are born naked

I felt I had returned back to nature when I moved back home to the north of norway. I felt like I was reborn into nature, that I can be myself and show myself - who I truly am when I am in nature. Nature never pretends to be anything else then what it is. In society we are always trying to be better or different in different ways, often dreaming of being something else then what we are...  Clothes are one way we actually can do that.  The minute you put clothes on you are giving others a percetption of what you are, or what you want to be. Clothes are so powerful this way, it shows you identity so strongly. By being naked - without clothes and makueup and all that - I wanted to show myself that I am what I am, and I can go in whatever direction from now. I will go wherever feels natural for me to move forward to. 
For me these pictures are the symbol of a new beginnig. The newborn me. I was reborn into nature, and I want to keep growing here.

A NEW LIFE

I have told you before the last 3 years have been really strange for me. It´s been difficult to keep motivated and the only thing that has kept me going is the love for music and nature. And without you people and some good friends I don't know what or where I would be at this moment. I have some incredible fans who always support me through everything, and they are so caring and loving towards me. They inspire me so much. I don´t feel like calling them my fans - I should find a better word for them, cause they feel more like friends....

Some weird thoughts have gone through my mind, and now I understand why people start using drugs for example. I am happy I made through all this without having to start using drugs for example...  Like anti depressives or sleeping pills, or even suicide or whatever super drastic things. I felt like I needed something like that so many times, but it never got to that - so I am very happy about that. The only thing I know I could have done differently was how I acted towards people that loved me. I didn't even trust them.

After 7 months at home in Alta now - it seems like only a month for me - it has gone by so quickly -  it took me several months to take in everything that had happened - not only the last year but the last 10 years. It has been a unbelievable psychological and spiritual journey - a journey I wanted to share with you - but I didn´t know how. But now I feel ready to share the things I have experienced.

SHOW ME HOW TO LOVE

It was the winter stream
the coldness of the world
the coldness of my heart

Yes, to be strong and steady.
To be determinded, don´t look for approval from others - don´t look to others for love
Love yourself.
never make yourself dependent of anybody.
Never expect anything from anyone
Just do your own thing
warm your own heart
give yourself what you want...
All you need you can give yourself, no-one else can give it to you anyway.

So you say, but at the same time
- the opposite.
Sometimes all you need is someone to be on your side
someone who will love you when you cannot love yourself
someone who can remind you to love yourself like they love you
to show you how to love at the worst times
  
Someone to remind you that happiness is to be found.

- Elin Kåven

FORGETTING MYSELF

I have been feeling ill. Sick and tired.
Got distracted again. Distracted from the journey I am on.
So many things going on. I forgot myself. Forgot I was here too.
I forgot I am here all the time. Not only everything else...

I had felt conneced with myself for while. Able to feel how it feels to be me in this situation.
To know how I feel about it, not only what can, should and has been felt before.
But if I forget myself one day, I will get lost again, and wander off to who knows where.
Not that I know where I am going, but I can feel it. I CAN feel it. If i remember to.

I got this link from a friend of mine today:
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-24109/the-secret-root-of-your-mental-physical-fatigue.html

This is excatly how I felt when I started wondering about why I was tired all the time. But I AM doing what I want to do. I love what I do, I don´t want to do anything else....

What else is there for me to do?
Obviously there is something more...

Sami Music :: Elin Kåven joiking - Muorat dansot / Trees dance

A RELEASE CONCERT IN THE FOREST

For Eamiritni -Rimeborn  album I actually had 2 releases. One in Europe last november (when I was touring Germany) and one in the Nordic countires in february.
The release in Norway was up to myself to plan, but things didn´t seem to fall into place. Nothing seemed to feel right when I was looking for venues and places to have my release-concert.

After a while I really had to sit down and think about this "Why didn´t anything feel right, and why do I have so much difficulity making decisions?"

So then I figured. What would FEEL right to do for the release. Without thinking of HOW or WHERE but what is it that would FEEL like the right thing to do.

AS I BEGAN TO LOVE MYSELF

"As I Began to Love Myself" - Poem by Charlie Chaplin

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!

POEM IN ENGLISH (!)

A moments weakness
Timetravellers skill
Entering the sphere of the dancing words
The etheral universe with  glowing sounds
Floating like a dream from every floral beam
When its finished it begins
The moments path...
it passes doors from one to another
A moment always returns to the beginning
begins and ends the same

- Elin Kåven

TO A SOULMATE

Tattoo: Arnhild Haagensen. Photo: Mari A. Lorentsen

I have wings tattoed on my back. The reason why I had them tattoed is because I often felt like the reason I am on this earth is to support others, to help them and support them. Like angels do. But often doing this results in my own boundaries being smashed. I felt I was always the one to give and make compromises in relationships. I figured I was just that kind of a person. I wanted wings tattooed to remember what good I have done for others. Even when my ex-boyfriend cheated on me, I felt sorry for him and wanted to help him with his issues, instead of dealing with my own. But who was there for me when I needed someone?

This year has been different. It has been the most chaotic year of my life. Nothing in my life has been certain for me. Everything has changed and it has been a mess, and it´s no understatement saying that it has been the darkest year of my life. I was not in any way capable of making decisions or taking responsabilites of any kind. Looking back on this year, it is the mess you have while tidying up, you know? You have to move things around to get to everything cleaned everywhere.

The travels and experiences I have done, they are all fantastic - but the most important thing that happened this year was meeting you. It changed my life totally. You kept my spirits up, and made me laugh and have fun and feed my dreams and fantasies. You showed me how to live with joy and love for everyone - for the world and everything that is alive. You showed me how to find peace in chaotic situations, and vision in hopelessness. You are nothing less then a saviour to me. I am a giving person, but this year I experienced that I had nothing more to give... I felt you and wanted so much to be there for you - and I had nothing... My fire had burnt out. There was hardly any sparkle left...  my heart ached because of this too.