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| Tattoo: Arnhild Haagensen. Photo: Mari A. Lorentsen |
I have wings tattoed on my back. The reason why I had them tattoed is because I often felt like the reason I am on this earth is to support others, to help them and support them. Like angels do. But often doing this results in my own boundaries being smashed. I felt I was always the one to give and make compromises in relationships. I figured I was just that kind of a person. I wanted wings tattooed to remember what good I have done for others. Even when my ex-boyfriend cheated on me, I felt sorry for him and wanted to help him with his issues, instead of dealing with my own. But who was there for me when I needed someone?
This year has been different. It has been the most chaotic year of my life. Nothing in my life has been certain for me. Everything has changed and it has been a mess, and it´s no understatement saying that it has been the darkest year of my life. I was not in any way capable of making decisions or taking responsabilites of any kind. Looking back on this year, it is the mess you have while tidying up, you know? You have to move things around to get to everything cleaned everywhere.
The travels and experiences I have done, they are all fantastic - but the most important thing that happened this year was meeting you. It changed my life totally. You kept my spirits up, and made me laugh and have fun and feed my dreams and fantasies. You showed me how to live with joy and love for everyone - for the world and everything that is alive. You showed me how to find peace in chaotic situations, and vision in hopelessness. You are nothing less then a saviour to me. I am a giving person, but this year I experienced that I had nothing more to give... I felt you and wanted so much to be there for you - and I had nothing... My fire had burnt out. There was hardly any sparkle left... my heart ached because of this too.
