torsdag 19. mars 2015

LOOSING THE SOUL

Photo: Majja Eriksen
I was lucky enough to know at a early stage in life that I was a singer. Many people have no idea what they want to do in their lives, but I knew when I was around 4 years that I wanted to be a singer. My whole childhood I really truly thought I was a singer.

My aunt Sonja has told me that when I saw my father up on stage playing the guitar and singing, I had said "When I grow up I want to sing in a band just like my dad".

All my childhood I remember singing all the time everywhere, and dreaming about releasing albums and singing on stages. I was a part of the sami shows at the Sami radiostation and TV - NRK Sápmi when I was in elementary shcool, you could say that´s where I started my carriere.

I remember thinking, "why doesn´t anyone see that I am a singer?".  When I got older - teenager - things got thought and people told me it was too hard to become a singer. It´s too hard to succeed and no reliable income. And after a while I stopped believing that I could be an artist. I felt lost..."What do I do with my life then?"

My life changed totally. I have talked about this with a therapist, and she descibes it as a traumatic experince for me. The foundation of my whole excistence was brutally taken from me. I had nothing to stand on and build my life on anymore. And I had to find something else to build my excistence on... which lead to my studies in decor and interior design.

My therapist also said some people could describe this as a piece of soul lost. I had lost a piece of my soul when I was told that I could not be a singer. There are of course many ways of explaining how traumatic this can be, but loosing a piece of the soul seems a very accurate description for me. Cause I lost a big piece of myself.

Ever since I had to give up the idea of me being a singer I was searching. I read alot of books, explored different religions and lifestylesand tried to find something else to do with my life. A few years ago I realised what I was searching for. I was searching myself - that lost piece of my soul.

Cause one can get the pieces of the soul back, and I think I have got mine back recently! Thank you!

So I always tell people to pursue whatever it is that they feel like doing. If you know what you want - go for it! Doing what you love to do is not hard at all - but doing things you don´t like will kill you!

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