GIVING UP - (NOT DOWN)

Like I have written before, the last few years have not been easy for me. I had to stop dancing and my life in general was not good because of health issues. I tried ALOT of things to make it better, but nothing seemed to work. I tried my best to come up with how to improve my life. I seeked help many places, but I never quite found anything or anyone who could get to the bottom of my illnesses. I went to doctors, coaches, physitherapisths, massagists, chiropractors and so on, but nothing seemed to help.

I became more and more discouraged, and lost the will to continue fighting, trying and struggeling. I was loosing all motivation to keep on looking for ways to improve my life. It felt like no-one could help me anyway.... And thats when I decided what to do. I decided to give up!
I had thought this in a negative way so many times: "There is no use, I give up. I´m never gonna find anyone who can help me anyway...". 

But this time I did it in a postive manner. I said: " I give up. I give my body to the hands of god/ the universe/ the divine. There is nothing else I can do to save my body from aches and pains, and my mind from exhaustion. I leave it up to YOU to make me what was I meant to be. From now on I know that I am taken care of by YOU. The perfect outcome has already been chosen and I trust cycle of life to be on my side. Whatever happens is always the best."



There it is. Giving up. Giving UP. When you give up, you give it to the forces of universe - God - the divine - whatever you want to call it. You give it to something higher than yourself as a human. UP - to someone HIGHER than you.  I feel like it is something religious about it. At first it was very unnatural for me to do this. It was very scary too - to give away control like that. It made me feel very vulnrable. It crashed with what I had learned. I had learned that we make out own reality. Our own world. That we as humans can make things happen, and create the lives we want to live. I had always felt like I was in control of what happens to me. I made things happen. The results of my life where because of my actions - the actions I myself had chosen to do - and never give up if there was something I wanted. I lived in that world - so at first this new thinking of giving the control to someone else, and it not even being a human - but to just unknown "energy". The air. It felt strange and scary. But sooo relieving at the same time.... I could give the responsability to someone else for a while. I was not alone in this prosess. I felt comfort in that.... That was when I got used to the idea of that it´s not actually me run the shows here on earth...
And doing this proved later to be a very wise decision. :D 

Have you ever given up like this?