søndag 13. desember 2015


The darkest days of my life.
Nothing seems to work. Everything struggles.
No aspect of my life has light upon it.
No future.
Who knows what will happen. Is there even a spark to light a fire from?
Is there even a slightset bit of hope? Is there anything at all?

I must find out. I must search in the dark for that one thing to hold on to so I don´t fall, disappear and vanish.

Panic! Who´s idea was it to search the dark anyway?
I prefer to sit still until the lights come on.
No one can tell what´s in there. What we will find...
Fear of course. Fear of the dark, that´s the first thing found...

But you came. You came into the darkness and searched with me. Like you said you would.
In one hand you held my hand, and in the other you held up light. And you loved me. 
There is no need to feel fear again!
As long as I trust you, you will never let me down. 

That moment I knew this to be true. There is no one in the world who has done for me what you did. No one who cared like you did. You are the one. I will be with you and know that I am safe. You love me, and I can be me. You are there with me, and I can do anything. I can survive anything!

Now I will come to you, and I will never leave. Love you like you loved me. Our castle will be built from our dreams into reality.
I am ready for everything we dreamt of! I can do it now that the road is not in the dark anymore!

While crawling out of the dark the bomb exploded.
"Done", you said.
You already did it? Without me? You can´t anymore? You are exhausted?
You don´t want it anymore? You don´t want what you asked for anymore?
You won´t let me be thankful. You don´t want to be my saviour.

No answers. You are gone. Because you didn´t like the dark. So you push me back into it.
Why? I am out of there! I´m not going back! Why would I?
And why would you blow up everything now? All the tools we had made are destroyed! The road in front of us is just a big hole on the road. There is no way we can walk on that! There is no way to move forward. Everything we say goes into that hole, and never gets heard again.

It´s trust. Tricky. When you didn´t have it thats what you want.
But when you get it you might find that you don´t want it.

People are begging for trust without knowing what they are asking for.
People are risking giving trust without knowing what they are in for.

Thats why one can never know who to give it to. Taking the chance of trust is always risky. That´s why moving forward to fast needs a bomb to stop it. It´s hard to find the breaks when busy.

 But the question is: Is one moment of total love enough for a whole lifetime? One small moment of the experience of true love, is that what most people get in life?

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